Is it even worth the flex?!

 

"...Let not the wise boast of thier wisdom or the strong boast of thier strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight, "declares the Lord - Jeremiah 9:23-24

In 2010, I had gone home to Nigeria for service year. For anyone who doesn't know what that is. NYSC in a nutshell is a "youth programme scheme" in Nigeria created by the government for university graduates. I had moved from the UK, where I was having immigration issues that year. I was so over the merry go round with court cases, and basically not being abled to work and all that jazz. So with the advise of my parents, we agreed it will be a great opportunity to enroll for the scheme, whilst I had to wait it all out - Moreover I was getting married the following year 2011 anyways, and so we decided it was a good call [excuse-the-long-detour-just-giving-you-context]   

As part of NYSC scheme, you are posted to a designated place of work by the government. Emphasis on by the government lol. When I counted the cost of the commitment required and the stress involved with the service year, should I choose to work where I was posted, it was incredibly nerve racking. So I "re-posted" myself with the help of an uncle who worked for the government. I was re-posted to my dad's office - [insert baby-girl-life here tsk tsk tsk]. I remember on the day going in with my uncle to work out the reposting. There was this really long queue; spring in my step and with so much 'guilt' in my heart, we walk pass the, "I-have-been-here-all-day" trail, queued up with eyebrows raised, as if to say - "just-look-at-these-people-shamelessly-oppressing-the-rest-of-us-because-they-know-somebody-who-knows-somebody". It's not something I am proud of till this day. Anyways, that isn't really where I am going exactly, but a part of it. You'll see in a moment if you keep reading.

So I start working for my dad; and many months afterwards, we are catching up one day at home, and he tells me about a meeting he had with one of his staff [sharing his heart with me, with so much joy]. The elderly man had been very surprised on this day to learn that I was his daughter. We had worked together in the accounts department for months and I never in anyway expressed, showed or bragged about being the MD's [managing director] daughter. My father till this day brings this "proud moment" up all the time and even as an example to my siblings on the topic of humility. Please read till the end, it will be really weird bragging to end it here lol....

But you know the other day whilst on a prayer walk, when this "daddy proud moment' popped up in my mind once again: I mumbled - "well, if only dad understood that this wasn't necessarily an area of struggle for me..." lol - I loved that I was being encouraged for my low posture in those instances, but there are yet areas of my heart where I can be super prideful and God continues to call me out on it. Cough cough hello, just scroll up two paragraphs before this one and read again [right there is just an example of such times]. If you are anything like myself: you may not necessarily be the kind of person, to go around boasting by words of mouth, or bragging about the things you own or the things you have accomplished. For some the struggle isn't even with hanging or relating with "ordinary people" or earning bragging rights - It's more to do with specific places and in the very presence of specific people with. Under life's pressing circumstances, the UGLY gets out. Sometimes even disguising itself as "confidence". When  really what it is, is a whole mess of insecurities.

G.k Chesterton said - Humility is the mother of Giants. One sees great things from the valley; only small things from the Peak"

In the opening verse, God says anyone who desires to boast at all, let it be that they have the UNDERSTANDING to know Him. Not in thier riches, not in their wisdom, and not in thier strength. I realise that God has made it this way: that to truly seek/find Him, we must change our posture. We must first go low, so that we can truly see. Pride doesn't only manifest itself outwardly, it also does within and eats a person blind. Another scripture that scares the heck out of me, is that one in Matthew 6:23 - "But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness" - Woooooooosh. It is a truly unfortunate thing, to think that you are at a place, when you are really not.

So when pride visits my heart and rears it's ugly head, I ask - how does this help me in anyway towards my understanding of who God is? If it doesn't, then it isn't even worth the flex. 

And because "Understanding God" is more for me and my life's journey, there is no point standing high when I ought to go low. So on this beautiful Monday that God has given you to have breathe, I am hoping you can ask yourself some candid questions; and let part of it be that you ask thus: "In what areas do I need to go low so that I can truly understand more about who God is?"

Love

SR